Have a Bonobo Experience on Valentine's Day (and not only). Remember: Life is What We Make of it!

This post is not about politics. Wait, on a second thought, it is! Even on a personal level, two people have to engage in politics, that is, they have to communicate their desires, plan a common course of action, compromise, establish rules of conduct, agree on a budget, have certain responsibilities, and have a vision for the future!

I'm not a fan of the gift-driven holidays, and this Valentine's Day is no exception. Actually, I see people trying to get romantic because they ..feel obliged and this doesn't excite me. I know, who could possibly ignore a (commercial) holiday without running the risk of being labeled an ogre, an iconoclast, a brute? I know, culture has its advantages and ironclad clauses, expected behaviors, customs and mores. I prefer ..smores! Without entirely skipping the conventional ways, I like surprises, the unexpected, something that originates within and flows outward as a natural feeling; such a thing doesn't need any prescribed rituals in my world.

Remembering my mother because it's Mother's Day is something I don't want to experience, not if it'd take a commercial holiday to make me think of her. I'm also not a big fan of specific dates--usually arbitrarily set or with the consumer culture in mind. I prefer events that I find relevant; and, I don't need a particular day to remind me what it should occur naturally in me. OK, some dates are important because collectively we can celebrate or pay homage. But, those are for co-ordinating our activities; they can't make us more patriotic or anything that we are not already. Otherwise, it's pretending, make believe.

On the other hand, I don't really care how people celebrate important days, dates, and events in their lives. I believe that we should give meaning to our lives [this is a deeper philosophical view than it may seem at first], so if a man wants to get on his knees and publicly propose to a woman on V'Day, presenting her with a diamond ring, then he should do whatever he feels like. I just don't like this kind of theatrics. As for diamonds, well, I have views that most women wouldn't want to hear.

I do not scorn love nor do I underestimate its power. Like any other human trait, it can uplift the individual and create a beautiful world, or it can be a destructive force if it's blind and crude. The warmth, the validation, the release of endorphins, How could a person who's capable of love can also be so cruel with others? How could someone who loves his ..loving god can bring death & destruction upon other human beings? The human psyche is abysmal indeed!

Who can deny that if more people loved and were loved the world would've been a better place. I don't want to draw extensive scientific conclusions or parallel comparisons to our cousins, the monkeys, but it's worth a look. Just the other day, PBS NOVA had a program on the behavior exhibited by different primates. While the chimps are very violent and even commit infanticide, the peace-loving bonobo prefer the make-love-not-war approach; this approach has made for a happier existence! We humans share 98% of our DNA with both of those primates. You be the judge of our behavior and our strategy in establishing our world. Sometimes, primitive behavior isn't confined to the more primitive animals and cultures.

I'm tempted to start a long diatribe on why & how our societies have attempted to suppress the better side of human nature--even denying love, sex, and the human body--while institutionalizing violence and rewarding the extermination of the "others." But, I'll leave such exercise for another day. Meanwhile, enjoy your day, and try to have as many bonobo experiences as you can! Don't deny yourself and the beautiful experiences you can share; just deny the irrational guilt. Life is too short to waste it.